Mindless ramblings of a guilty conscience

I hate to admit it, but I don’t know what to do? We are into the 17th week of the pregnancy and I have not shared this news with my sons yet. I feel terribly guilty about that. At the same time I am also petrified of telling them. I have so many conflicting thoughts running through my mind – which incidentally has the tendency to read too much into most situations.

The two are aware that Hilkka and I were trying to conceive. They did not say very much about it at the time and I thought it best back then not to push them too much for their opinions and emotions. Now I wish I knew how they felt. I have to tell them the news. I feel that I should tell them now, rather than later. But what are their reactions going to be? Oh, I know, of course nobody can tell for sure, and yes, it will probably be fine and they will understand, but what if they don’t?

The little one – I should find another name for him (this sounds so wrong) calling a boy that weighs 70kg and is about 1m70 tall “little”, or even “boy” for that matter. Damn, I got side-tracked again! Anyways, I am worried about how my sons will feel and react. React to the news, react to me, react to Hilkka.

And how am I going to break the news to them? Do I call on the phone? Do I send a text message? Do I skype, viber or whatsup? What do I say? How do I say it? AARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHH!

12 thoughts on “Mindless ramblings of a guilty conscience

  1. I’d agree – rather sooner than later. It will give them more time to adjust and by the time the baby is born, they’ll feel better about it. I’d also say that be a man and tell it to them either on the phone or in Skype. But in any case, do it soon!

    Tykkää

  2. Dear Susi, I do not have the right to advise you. I’ll just tell you how Hilkka and her brother reacted when we told them once that I’m pregnant – they would get a little sister or brother. Reagtion was negative: How can you do this to us! they said crying. When I miscarried a few weeks later, they felt guilty: that was not what they´d waned. Yes, we would have liked a sister or a brother.

    Yes, they had the right to shout, they had the right to be sorry for our lost.

    Tykkää

  3. I’m maybe under-complicating this, but if they already know you have been trying for a baby, it won’t be exactly a surprise that it has worked now. They have already had time to think about the possibility.

    Tykkää

      • I hope it’s so. But then again, it was 3,5 years ago. That’s an eternity in a teenage life, so they might not expect it to happen anymore.

        I remember all too well my own initial shock Mum refers to above. And i’d think it’s a bigger change in your life if your dad has another child with somebody who’s not your mum, so it may come as a bigger shock. (But on the other hand, maybe they were expecting this precisely because i’m not your mum. For us, it felt like a huge betrayal because we didn’t have the tiniest clue they wanted another child, and it had been the four of us for such a long time that it hadn’t crossed our mind things could be different.)

        And yet again, ever since I came along, i’ve felt the boys were relieved you had somebody, so you didn’t have to be alone. Maybe they take the news in the same spirit.

        Tykkää

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